Boys

They're all I know. No, really. My life is overflowing with them. I grew up with two younger brothers-which turned out to be great training for my adult life. I have three boys of my own. I currently have three nephews, a great-nephew, and another nephew on the way. See what I mean?

Boys rule! They're fantastic! They're wild, rambunctious, dirty, smelly, and just all around awesome. Some moments they are undeniably the most disgusting creatures on earth. The next moment, they are the most charming, sensitive beings you've ever met. The exciting part is, you never know which one you're going to get from one minute to the next. The same boy who proposed a smelly fart contest in the car, will bring you hand-picked flowers just because he wants to. (Even though secretly you're wondering what he did that you just don't know about yet.) I once read a book that said "If girls are faced with something and they think there's a chance they might get hurt, they walk away, and won't try it. If boys are faced with something and they think there's even the smallest chance they might NOT get hurt, that's enough for them to jump in with two feet." Truer words were never spoken. Luckily, I have enough experience with boys to know its perfectly normal to look out the window and see them repelling out of the treehouse. And odds are, they will survive. You may die from an early heart attack, but they will bounce. If they can climb up it, crawl under it, or shimmy around it, they will. They have to, its out of their control.

Boys smell. Its inevitable. They don't even have to DO anything. They simply walk outside, the air hits them, and produces a smell that is unmatched. Let them play for a few hours, and you'll reconsider that outdoor shower. Boys are destructive. Its their nature, don't even try to change it. Jellyfish on the beach? Well, of course we have to throw shells at them to see how much force it takes to bust one. Why else would they be just laying around? An old, decrepit building is just begging for rocks to be thrown at it. And heaven help you if they find an old computer, television, or radio to take apart. You will find microscopic pieces with your bare feet for months.

Boys are adventurous. Well, that's what I'm calling it to make me feel better about the things my kids will actually find and eat. Let's see--carpenter ants, crickets, minnows out of the pond--yep, they've eaten all of them. The carpenter ants came from Man vs Wild (time to cancel satellite). The crickets, well, I don't know who to blame for that one. We went to a morning soccer game, they caught a bunch, and then we had an hour before the next game. So, what else would we do besides go home, let Dennis cook them up in the skillet, eat crickets, then go play the second game? I mean, really, was there another option for a Saturday morning? Apparently breakfast at the local cafe is way too lame. The minnows have been caught and prepared on two occassions, I'm afraid to say. Last summer the boys caught the 1 1/2" fish out of my goldfish pond, skewered and roasted them over the campfire like mallows. And yes, they ate them. Apparently they didn't get their fill. My dear friend Amity and her children were here for the day, and the boys were at it again. Her kids are "city kids," and mine are desperately trying to change that. So, my three, and her son, set about catching more fish. When Kieran came in and said "We caught fish out of the pond," I responded with my usual "Well, now you have to eat it." I expected to watch his little tan face turn pale, but noooo, he's a boy. His response was "We want to!" So, my husband, being a boy himself and a wonderful father, shows them how to skewer the poor, little, live fish, dip them in soy sauce, and roast them on the open flame of our gas range. As a girl, I am required to say "EWWW!" Apparently, they were excellent. I'll take their word for it.

My hope for everyone is that they have the pleasure of watching at least one boy grow up. Well, they never actually grow up, they just turner into older, bigger boys, but it is pure, heartstopping, gut wrenching, smelly, joy. There is nothing else like it. Sarah